How many times have you said “why didn’t these kids come with a behavior management plan?” Good news! There is a behavior management plan and in it are wonderful blueprints (or concepts) on how to parent effectively.

In the Total Transformation Program by Dr. James Lehman there are several key concepts that promote responsibility taking and accountability on your kids’ part. Your job is to learn these concepts and how to use them.

The Passwords

Proven behavior management plans have techniques that give you a solid foundation on which to continue building your parenting skills. I have listed 4 of these below that worked right away for me.

1. Focus on a Single Issue. Kids love to get the spotlight off them and have a myriad of techniques to do so. One is bringing up another problem when you are trying to discuss something else. Don’t go down that path, even if you need to have notes to keep you on track. You can tell them you will discuss their issue at a later time. Then go ahead with your point. You will definitely experience less frustration, always a good thing in parenting.

2. Consequences. It is important to let the children know beforehand what will happen if they don’t follow through with the rules. Consequences are a preferred way to respond to bad behavior. They establish a sense of right and wrong, law and order. The intention is to maintain structure and values in the short term. Consequences do not develop morals or lasting change. They make the child yearn for a change that they will own. Do not base consequences on trying to figure out what your child was thinking. Just base it on their behavior.

3. Selective Attention. While a lot of parenting skills takes fortitude, this one gives you a break. Simply ignore negative behavior that is not important. Behaviors that are meant to get attention can be ignored as long as they are not abusive. Everyone in the family (or involved in caring for the child) must be in on this. The upside to this is that you will pay close attention to positive behavior. This is where your child will benefit the most and where you will start to see a new effort on their part to change.

4. Redirect their interest. This is another concept from your parent arsenal. You must be prepared beforehand with positive ideas and activities. Then when the child is stuck in negative behavior or thinking, you can give them something positive to do. You will stop their downward spiral and teach them how doing something positive can change their mood for the better. Use this skill in conjunction with Selective Attention to get the most out of it.

These 4 concepts will greatly enhance your child’s behavior plans. And they can do so without you having to exert a lot of extra parenting effort.